First of all: apologies for my delayed response - somehow I missed the notification.
Thanks for your workaround. For many projects, that would certainly work.
Problem in our case is that the video's need to play inline, on top of the scene.
So far we haven't been able to find a way to do this without making the video part of the scene ( which triggers loading the video in memory).
Our current, admittedly clunky, workaround is to reload the project to the current scene when too many video's are loaded in memory.
This works but is less then ideal form a user experience point of view.
So any other ideas are very welcome.